There are so many reasons not to go to the next climate rally. Use this handy list to find a reason to give to your annoying friend, colleague, neighbour, or customer who keeps inviting you to these events to ‘fight’ for climate action. Just saying ‘I’m really busy’ might not cut it – we’re all busy, right? So use one of these reasons instead.
They’ve probably never heard them before.
- I have to take my kid to the doctor
- I have to take my kid to tennis/basketball/football/netball/ballet/pole dancing
- I have to put the chooks to bed
- I have a dinner with friends from interstate
- I have lunch with family from overseas
- I’ve got to work
- I don’t have any leave available
- I can’t tell my boss I need time off for a rally (!#?!) – implies they’re crazy for suggesting it
- My job is very important
- Rallies are pointless, that’s not the way to make change – you don’t need to give an alternative, just cast doubt on theirs
- I don’t really think it’s that bad
- My minister says that we all just need to believe in God
- Even if it is that bad, we’ve still got time
- I’ve got a work meeting
- I’m looking after the kids
- I have to take my elderly/incapacitated mother/father/aunt/third cousin twice removed to the shops; poor thing can’t get around anymore
- I’m not a rally person
- I don’t like crowds
- I’ve never been to one before
- It’s just a bunch of hippies isn’t it
- It’s just young people being alarmist
- It’s just ‘woke’ hipsters making a big deal out of nothing
- It’s just some Baby Boomers who never grew up inciting naïve young people
- We can’t survive without coal, oil, and gas
- We can adapt
- So there’s fewer insects, so what
- Eating less meat isn’t going to save the planet
- I’m sick of hearing about it
- A few dead bats and horses and everyone’s upset
- There’s always been ice melt, this is just the same, the coal lobby told me
- It’s normal for it be hot/freezing/flooded/dry sometimes
- The trees will grow back
- I did a tree planting in winter
- I’m looking after the grandkids then
- I’ve got the residents association meeting
- The real problem is [insert your favourite bandwagon here] – distracts from rally attendance
- I recycle
- I bought a carbon offset for my last flight, it didn’t cost that much – another good distraction topic
- Some people have nothing better to do – implies you are too busy but doesn’t actually say it, so you can get away with it
- I’m not an unemployed lay about so I wouldn’t fit in – jokes make everything better
- I’m just one person
- I can’t get off work early
- I can’t afford the petrol
- It’s great that you’re going, being friends with you makes me look good
- It’s so disruptive, you shouldn’t do that
- Being polite is the only way to get things done
- I don’t want my kids to be scared of something that might not happen
- I don’t want my kids to think I’m scared of climate change
- It’s not good for young people to be on such a downer
- It could be scary for my kids to be there in the crush of people
- It’s sets a bad example for young people, do a petition instead
- Gluing yourself to things, chaining yourself to things, I’m not doing that
- I don’t want to get arrested
- I’m scared it will get violent
- We shouldn’t really make a fuss, we vote once every 3 or 4 years, that’s enough
- My partner wouldn’t like me going
- I read about it on Facebook – not a reason, just an escape comment that implies you care
- The Prime Minister isn’t bothered and s/he wouldn’t lead us down the wrong path
- ‘What if something’s on TV and it’s never shown again’ – funny song by the Lemonheads – don’t be afraid to quote something totally unrelated, like Trump or any number of climate criminals would.
Ok, so this isn’t 100 reasons, but you get the idea.
At the end of the day, there’s only reason to go to the next climate rally: life on earth.
© Palitja Moore, text 2020, and image, N Moore, Emma Gorge Western Australia, 2019
