Tall Tales and Feudal Fantasies

Tall Tales and Feudal Fantasies: a conversation with Australian Prime Minister
Malcolm Turnball

Hi
PM, I didn’t expect to see you out here among the gum trees – the few that
are left on this wide toasting land. Now listen, I want to ask you some things,
if it’s not too much trouble. [He nodded sagely, inclined his head, and
indicated that I should continue.]

I
heard your comment that parents should fund their kids’ first home deposit and
it sounded like a familiar tale told by ex-PM Abbott about knights and dames.   

It
seems like you and your team must be cashing in on inter-generational wealth!?
But you’re sending mixed messages – which is it, Sir, are we supposed to live
off the dosh of our ancestors or be self-made?

It’s
confusing for us poor ‘have-nots’ and ‘have-a-bits’ – do you care about a
deficit or not? And if so, why are you giving you and your mates a tax break
and not us lower income earners?

Now
how are we poor peasants s’posed to learn our numbas and lettas? And what about
this strange rash on me arm – who’s gunna help me wiv dat now dat da docs are
all packed up and shifted to da city, and I don’t have no muney ta get to dem,
and da buses don’t work no more for us out in da burbs, what can’t afford to
live no wheres else?

What
about all of us 80%, Sir? Sir?… Guvna? [And just like that he was gone in a
cloud of dust spilling from the Mercedes’ tyres, deposit bottles of Evian and a
pile of how-to-vote cards in his wake.]

©
Palitja Moore, text and image, Engine on Beach, Snapper Point, South Australia, 2016

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