worst thing Lou has ever done is to not agree with everything someone else told
her. Even today as an adult, there are people who seem to hate her because she
hasn’t gone along with everything they say.
her father this was the last straw. If he said that the bible was a literal
truth and that speaking in tongues was what God wanted, then that was so. But
something deep inside Lou knew that it would be worse to lie to him and to say
she was a believer when she wasn’t than to go along with him. She didn’t think
about it in these terms at the time, she was just truthful – to him and to
herself. She didn’t believe in the bible and she didn’t believe in God. He didn’t
thank her for her honesty. He disowned her for it. She wasn’t even 16.
a discarded teenager affected Lou. She didn’t want it to but it did. She kept
her head down at school since it seemed apparent that no one could be trusted. She
didn’t tell anyone at school what had happened, not even her best friend. Loneliness
became a habit and so did thinking.
thought about her father and his new wife and saw two people who had both been
married, who had both committed adultery, who had split up her family and who now
told her that they had the answers to life and that they were good and she was
a sinner. There was no sense of irony in their proclamations. It was with a supercilious
face that her father looked down on her and over time, over the slow turn of
the years, she looked away.
Palitja Moore, text and image, 2015